I wonder today if you are my last baby. I mean, you will always be my baby boy, but will you always be the baby? Only God knows, and I know His plans are good and perfect. You are such a gift to us. God has such a purpose for your life and the past year has given me little glimpses into who God created you to be.
At one...
You are full of joy. You are easy going. You are easily entertained. You adore your brothers. You love to be held. You are a Mamas boy. When you get tired you rub your little eyes and grab for your chincha, do a little purring noise and put your left thumb in your mouth. You do not like to snuggle when you are sleepy, you want to lay down with your chincha and your thumb and be left alone. You are very agile--you are in no hurry to walk, but will crawl very fast and pull up on everything but rarely fall. Your favorite places to play are my shower, the bathrooms/toilets in general, the gates on the stairs, and the plastic slide and kitchen in the play room. You are not a huge foodie. You will eat (and you do love some graham crackers) but you are very matter of fact about your food. You will eat if you're hungry, if not, it's no big deal. You really don't even cry for food. Sleep? Oh.my. You are the BEST one year old sleeper I know. You never had to cry it out. You sleep 12-13 hours a night and NEVER wake up. Poor baby--you will wake up with vomit encrusted sheets and hair but not cry. You wake up just cooing and babbling and standing up until someone comes and gets you. You rock sleep, just like your mama :).
I remember one year ago today like it was yesterday. But then I try to remember all the moments in between and it's a blur. How is it already a blur? I remember taking showers in the winter with you in the bouncy seat or the rock n play under the heater in the bathroom. I remember you going with us everywhere those first 3-4 months because I could rock your car seat and you would just sleep--you went to happy hours and dates and the movies. This summer you just wanted to be held, so I held you a lot. You still love to be held, and not in the "wearing" way. You just want to be held in my arms, and most of the time I hold you. I've learned to do a lot of things one handed--wash dishes, make dinner, fold clothes, pull up pants, etc. I actually do most things one handed because you and I are pretty inseparable. I will leave you at the gym for an hour or so and we get the occasional babysitter, but most of the time you just go where we go. Your brothers play and I hold you. I hope that this go with the flow baby you are continues into toddlerhood, but only time will tell.
I'm not trying to slow down time--I can't wait to watch your personality continue to develop as you learn to talk and walk and become your own little Brooks person. I just want to slowly savor each day and be present as God grows you into the person that HE created you to be. It's not my nature. I'm a do-er and a list checker so I will miss some things and I'm already giving myself grace for that. Brooksie, as your Mama I'm going to make a lot of mistakes. I'm going to fail you. But I hope that if I do one thing right it's point you to Jesus--the one that will always be with you, who will never fail you. As you grow, you and I will become more and more distant--and that's a good thing. I will let go, because you have to grow and learn and become independent. But today I'm savoring that you are ONE. That God gave me to you and you are still my little baby Brooks that wants me. So I will hold you. And kiss your little bald head. And inhale your sweet baby smell. And play peek a boo and knock down towers and smile that goofy smile so you will scrunch your nose and show me your big toothy (with a big gap!) grin. And I will pray over you as I put you in bed--and you know that when I pray Joshua 1:9 over you, you grab your chincha, and put your left thumb in your mouth, and get ready for your sound machine to turn on. Because that's what we do when you're one. And I savor it.
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